Love in the land of loners.

Long time no type, eh Tumblr?

I’ve been trying to blog for days. Really & truly. I’ve been writing these novel like entries & then deleting them on a whim. If this actually makes it online, I’ll be surprised.

But I wanted to blog on/about Valentine’s Day… or my depression. Who would have thought Valentine’s would win?
Valentine’s Day always leaves me a little weird because logically I realize it’s just another heavily commercialised day but then the secret super girly side of me is a little saddened it just slips by, like any other day.
Truth is, I’m a closet romantic. I grew up with Disney flicks & the dream a galant prince will come to save me like a princess. Living happily ever after & stupidly large ball gowns.
It’s so engrained into me, that despite my tomboyish tendencies, I’m still waiting to fall head over in love & having a guy sweep me off my feet. The standards of prince have dropped, but I still rather quietly & just a tad desperately want to be in love. Just not enough to throw myself at men.

And so Valentine’s passes, like it does every years & the romantic inside claws below the surface, pouting & begging for a glimpse of the romanticism I crave.
And it reminds me of how alone I really am.

So this year, instead of screwing up every relationship with a male I have, I’m going to let men be men. And try to break down the stubborn independent streak I have that seems to scare away everyone. Let the romantic out & embrace the side I’ve try to squash for so long. It’s a big deal for me, the girl who likes being alone, to dare enter the realms of such a daring way of existence - but I’m damn near 25. Something has to change. It might as well be me.

La la la laaaaaa.

xx